Katy Perry won the VMAs

Katy Perry was the hottest one at last nights VMA’s, but mostly because, as always, no one else really tried. But her evening of triumph got off to a bad start when the guy in the Moonman costume tried to punch her in the face.

My exclusive sources tell me it was because Katy didn’t know he was black, and she throws around the N word like you would not believe. Everything is N word this and N word that. And she leaned in to the Moonman and said, “Man what’s with all the (N words) around here, ya know? Is there a parole board in there? Did a grape soda truck break down?”

I haven’t confirmed this, so I’m not entirely sure if it’s true, but I feel like we should tell everyone it is anyway, just in case. There’s no place in this world for monsters like Katy Perry. And if I’m wrong, hey, no harm done.