Wyclef Jean is running for president of Haiti

Time magazine is reporting that Wyclef Jean will run for President of Haiti, where he was born and lived until he was 9 and his family moved to New York.

Critics say he’s not qualified, because he’s not, and to prove it Wyclef says he decided to run when it occurred to him that he’s the new Moses.

Haiti’s Jan. 12 earthquake, which ravaged the western hemisphere’s poorest country and killed more than 200,000 people, was the biblical event that sealed his calling. After days of helping ferry mangled Haitian corpses to morgues, Jean felt as if he’d “finished the journey from my basket in the bulrushes to standing in front of the burning bush,” he told me this week. “I knew I’d have to take the next step.”

Wyclef is an idiot, but Haiti is a shithole so whatever. He can’t do worse. That faggity little earthquake was a 7, but you’d think Godzilla went to Port-au-Prince and jumped up and down on it. Chile had an 8.8 a month later and no one lifted a finger for them (*). The three little pigs built better houses than Haiti, so if Wyclef can’t do better than the current guy than he’s dangerously retarded.

(*) the Richter scale is a base- 10 scale, meaning an 8 is 10 times more powerful than a 7.