tuesday morning headlines

KARISSA AND KRISTINA SHANNON – are the twin sisters who used to date Hugh Hefner, and they kissed at the Playboy Mid Summers Night Dream party Saturday (full size pic here). I think one of them even used some tongue. If I weren’t in a Starbucks right now I’d masturbate to this until a ghost came out of my penis. (pacific coast)

SNOOKI – says she didn’t like being in jail for public intoxication 10 days ago, and that, “I’m too pretty to be in jail. I’m a good person. I’m not a criminal, and I will never go back there.” Have they made the Jersey Shore porn parody yet? Because that line and this scene would be good for that. Then Deputy Lasagna and Officer Bigballs could train her. (mtv)

KELLY BROOK – was at the Playboy Mid Summers Night Dream party too, but she didn’t kiss any other girls so she didn’t get to be the banner picture. I’m tough but fair.