this is Hollywoods Most Amazing Body

Jennifer Love Hewitt was on the cover of People this summer for their issue about the best bodies in Hollywood. She went from fat to fabulous and now her body is amazing (their words, not mine).

And yet every picture had her hiding behind something. Whenever she’s in a magazine, it’s like she was on a walk in the woods and a stranger started chasing her. She’s always peering out from behind something.

Well this is why. In reality she’s a complete mess, as you can see in these pictures taken today in Toluca Lake. Which would be fine except she wants credit for telling women to love their body while constantly lying about her own. Her ass is so big you could hit it with a paddle and it would take over a minute before her brain got the message and she said, “Ow.”