thursday headlines: special mel gibson edition

Look, if I could make Megan Fox and Jessica Alba blow me while I took pictures of it for the website, I assure you I would. Until then here’s three Mel Gibson stories, because that’s the only thing in the news.

OKSANA GRIGORIEVA – went to a pediatrician on January 8th complaining of headaches. This was one day after she went to a dentist because Mel allegedly punched her and broke two of her teeth. The doctor is not the same doctor who treats her kids, so it’s not really clear why she went to a pediatrician. It’s safe to say it wasn’t because she’s some pervert sex offender though, because I’ve never seen her at our meetings. (tmz)

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER – was addressing a group of utility commissioners yesterday as part of his Governor stuff, and he brought some timely zingers along with him.

SET UP: BP has finally contained the oil spill.
PAY OFF: “Unfortunately no one has figured out how to contain Mel Gibson.”

After that he asked everyone to turn off their cell phones, “because we are expecting a call from him.” Then he did some gay jokes and the crowd boo’d because they were homosexuals too. Here’s the shocking clip. (popeater)

MEL GIBSON – sent a text to his girlfriend Oksana (full text below) that begins with Mel saying, “I wasn’t safe for you last night.” Later Oksana says she has two broken front teeth and a concussion. Mel replies, “Did you get them fixed yet?” Some are saying this is an admission that Gibson punched her. Others are saying that I should wear more light blue because it makes my eyes pop, but mostly they’re saying it was an admission that Mel punched her. (radar)

JANUARY 7, 2010 — 3:25PM
MG: Oksana, I wasn’t safe for you last night. I spent two hours with a therapist today and have regained some perspective. What I’m telling you know if I am safe & would like to come by and make amends to you, sascha and Lucia. I won’t stay just let you say your peace and I’ll say mine. Let me know if it’s alright!
MG: Or if it’s not.
MG: Let me know either way.
MG: Yes or no.
MG: It’s important that I apologize to sascha before he goes.
MG: Please respond one way or another.
OG: I have two broken front teeth and a concussion.  I can not c u today, I’m hurting. U can apologize to Sacha some other time.
MG. Did you get them fixed yet?
MG: When can I see you?
MG: I need to see you this evening & then I promise I’ll leave you alone?for as long as you want
MG: If only for 10 minutes.
MG: Please.