lindsay lohan is gonna get strip searched

After today, everyone will get a long and well deserved break from Lindsay Lohan. Unfortunately today has only just begun, but at least Good Morning America got things started with a sexy interview. Apparently one of the very first things that will happen to Lindsay today is that the cops will take her on an erotic adventure.

“When you get strip searched it takes away a lot of dignity. You are not in a room by yourself.”

The only ones who are gonna lose any dignity are the cops when Lindsay gets turned on, licks her fingers, runs her hands between her legs and says something about her “honey pot”. Oh god today is gonna suck. Here’s a little recap of all the other crap from the past 12 hours…

– Us magazine says Lindsay checked out of Pickford Lofts (the rehab facility run by Shapiro) around 3:30 this morning with her mom and Samantha Ronson.

– After that Lindsay went on twitter and wrote her typical rambling nonsense. “the only ‘bookings’ that i’m familiar with are Disney Films, never thought that i’d be ‘booking’ into Jail… Eeeks”. She hasn’t filmed a movie for Disney since 2004, but whatever.

– While in jail, ABC says Lindsay will be, “sporting the jail-standard orange jumpsuit and sleep on a vinyl mattress in a 12X8 foot cell. For her own protection, she will be isolated from other inmates.” A lawyer tells them, “It’s not going to be the worst situation imaginable, far from it. It’s just going to be boring basically.”

– TMZ adds that Lindsay could be alone in her cell, “as much as 20 hours per day. She will be allowed to exercise three times per week. As far as her diet, we’re told Lindsay will get two cold meals and one hot meal every day.” They also say she will only get to shower every other day.

– Though sentenced to 90 days, Lindsay will likely serve more like 22. The LA Times says, “women sent to jail for nonviolent crimes generally serve 25% or less of their sentence due to overcrowding.”

– TMZ says, “Lindsay is furious at (Robert) Shapiro, feeling as if he totally used her to get publicity for his sober living house. She believes that is the only reason he agreed to rep her and sold her a bill of goods.”