Elin Nordegren is about to make $750,000,000 (part 2)

It looked like a typo last week when it was reported that Tiger Woods would have to pay out 750 million dollars in a divorce settlement to Elin Nordegren, because are you god damn kidding me. But no, according to the Sun it’s right, because that’s what it cost for Tiger to buy Elins silence, even after his death.

ELIN NORDEGREN, 30, gets the biggest payout ever seen in a celebrity divorce.
“The price of the huge sum is her silence: no interviews, tell-all books, or TV appearances about this for the rest of her life – even if Tiger dies first – or she’ll lose the lot.”
A pal said: “Tiger’s main fear is her telling her story after he’s rebuilt his reputation, sending him back to the gutter.”

The article also says Tiger is not allowed to have any of his whores I mean girlfriends near his kids, ever, or at least until he marries one of them.

Under the no-girlfriends deal, only married women not romantically linked to Tiger will be allowed around the children – plus female members of staff known to Elin.

Wow women really are evil. So basically Elin has arranged for the kids to think their dad is gay now, and Tiger spent 750,000,000 dollars as part of the deal. I’m not so sure he really thought this through.