the best idea ever

Us magazine must get money from the government or something if an employee commits suicide because they made someone sit down and chronicle Heidi Montags twitter page. And then write an article about it. But whatever because this was the only one I cared about…

“My last surgery was the best decision of my life!” she Twittered. “Anything anyone else says (family members who are trying to make money off of me) is a lie! I have never felt sexier, happier, or more amazing in my own skin. I truly look the way I have always dreamed.”

Dreams really can come true. If you want to be a winner like Heidi, don’t just get implants, get DDD implants. No mainstream company like Johnson and Johnson will make those because they’re scared, but look for implants with a wolverine or grizzly bear on the box, then a number like 5000, or even better 5000 followed by an X. The X stands for xtra-sexxxy.