tuesday afternoon headlines

IRON MAN 2 – kind of sucks, according to the first major review, because it has too many plot lines and villains crammed in. But that’s how all superhero sequels do it. More stories and characters make it better. Because it’s more. It’s a higher number. Why have one story when you can have 7 or 8. This reviewer has a lot to learn about movie making. (hollywood reporter)

BRET MICHAELS – has been upgraded to stable condition for the first time since his brain hemorrhage on Friday. Of course being dead would also be considered “stable”, so this is only somewhat good news. (us.com)

KIM KARDASHIAN – was way easier to work with than Ashley Dupree, according to the photographer who shot them both for Playboy. It’s more proof that girls with huge jugs are superior in every way. (daily news)

SOMEONE IN HOLLYWOOD IS GAY – but we won’t find out who until the People cover story in May. I bet it’s Megan Fox. I mean she hasn’t had sex with me, so this would explain it. It’s all coming together now. (jezebel)

KRISTINA FROM OHIO – reads Tyler. And she’s in the Maxim Hometown Hottie contest. But only click this link if you feel like you deserve to see a girl with a really hot ass. Take a good look in the mirror, and ask yourself if you’ve earned this great, great honor. (maxim)

KELLY BROOK – is in Mauritius, which is a French island off the south east coast of Africa. More to the point she’s in a bikini. Even more to the point, she’s in over 90 percent of my erotic daydreams. You can actually see her tits from the back. Is there anything better than that? Let me answer it this way: No.