lindsay stole a $35,000 rolex

Normally, when a bunch of different people with no relation to each other all accuse the same person of the same thing, it means those people all met in a secret location and decided to make up a bunch of crazy stories. The person being accused is totally innocent, but those people all tell lies about her anyway. For no reason. They’re just really mean.

Anyway, lets get the page started for Friday. Oh look. Here’s a story about Lindsay Lohan stealing a $35,000 rolex.

We’re told the watch belongs to one of Lindsay’s “friends,” who accidentally left it at Lindsay’s house earlier this year — and never got it back.
But sources tell us that cops have photographic evidence which could prove Lindsay knows exactly where the Rolex went.  We’re told cops rolled over to Lohan’s pad Wednesday to question the actress about the Rolex — but Lindsay denied any involvement in the theft.
So far, no arrests have been made in the case — but it’s another major issue for Lohan … who seems to be in a downward spiral.

If you added up just a few of the things Lindsay has taken without paying for or outright stolen (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) it comes to around $100,000. And that list is nowhere near complete. I think she might be the devil. At this point it wouldn’t surprise me if she turned out to be the Zodiac Killer too.