friday afternoon headlines

JESSE JAMES – is hoping time in rehab and some privacy will save his marriage. He also thinks maybe some aspirin will bring Brittany Murphy back to life. (the ap)

DINA LOHAN – says the report that Lindsay was behind on her rent is a complete lie and Lindsay is doing great. Man, what a relief. I was worried that Lindsay might be in some kind of trouble. Seems silly in hindsight. (radar)

LINDSAY LOHAN – did bounce her rent checks, but other than that, the story about being behind on her rent is a complete lie. So see, Lindsay did send a check. It’s the thought that counts. (tmz)

JESSICA SIMPSON – says women shouldn’t change just to please a man. “If you’re ever with anyone who says you should change something about yourself then they should never fall in love with you in the first place.” Stay rigid and never compromise, that’s the key to a good relationship, says the girl who is divorced and has no boyfriend. (popeater)

TYLER READERS UNITE – and go to College Humors ‘Hottest College Girl’ contest and vote for Nikki (last girl, south region) because she reads Tyler too and asked me to do this. She’s impossibly gorgeous, has a perfect body and does kegstands in a bikini. Not only should she win, they should rename the championship trophy after her. (contest, facebook)