scarlett johannson hearts more government regulation

Scarlett Johannson has written a letter to congress to approve the Healthy School Meals Act, which would compel schools to add more fruits, vegetables, and “healthy” options to their lunchrooms. The letter (read it here) highlights a real crisis in America; not enough laws.

“Children depend on adults to provide them with nutrition and sustenance they need to reach their full potential. It is our responsibility, as adults, to give school children the nutrients and vitamins they so vitally need…
A means to a healthy diet and a nutritional education must begin in the school cafeteria, on the lunch line.”

Scarlett must have meant this for orphans because the word “parent” never appears at any point in her letter. Shouldn’t parents be the ones to make sure their kids are getting the diet they need? They’re the ones who had the kid, right? Did I have their kid? Well then why am I in charge of it? Fuck that kid. The schools can feed them old newspapers and Chinese dog food for all I care. Actually that would be terrific because the kids Scarlett describes have shitty parents so maybe this way their unsupervised punk kid will have real brittle bones when he tries to carjack me and his legs will turn to dust when I run them over.