cameron diaz and hollywood really do suck

Cameron Diaz filmed some scenes for ‘Bad Teacher’ this weekend, and I don’t know what that’s about, but this is probably a safe bet:

Trailer/ Poster – If the poster doesn’t say “Hot For Teacher” or the trailer doesn’t play “Hot For Teacher”, I will eat my fucking hat.

Act 1 – The movie opens with Diaz partying at a bar, then maybe having sex with some random guy. Then we see her house the next day and she’s in bed and there are clothes and empty bottles everywhere and Diaz wakes up in a start because she’s late for work. And her car will screech into the parking lot and she’ll jump out of the car buttoning her blouse and putting on her heels and we’ll see that she’s a teacher. Get it? Because teaching would be an unlikely choice. After all the other stuff we saw. Do you get it? Unlikely = funny.

Act 2 – Something happens that changes Camerons life or threatens her school and so now she has a rivalry with another school and/or teacher, and she uses her crazy antics to win, like dressing “sexy” to get more cars to her car wash. I wonder if this scene will show Camerons car wash with cars lined up around the block, while her frumpy rival has very few cars. Aww man, can you imagine? I hope I don’t hyperventilate from all the laughter.

Act 3 – Diaz fails to win because her underhanded tactics were frowned upon but that’s okay because in doing so, she learns a little about life and a lot about her self. Also she says ‘fuck’ a lot during the movie, which is funny because using language like that around kids would be inappropriate. The real lesson here is that anyone on earth can write a successful Hollywood movie in about 20 minutes.