tiger woods will apologize on tv this friday

In two days, for the first time in over 10 weeks, Tiger Woods will make a public appearance that will be aired on live television, during which he will apologize for his infidelity, among other things. His agent says…

Tiger Woods will be speaking to a small group of friends, colleagues and close associates at 11 a.m. (EST) Friday at the TPC Sawgrass clubhouse in Ponte Vedra Beach, FL.  Tiger plans to discuss his past and his future and he intends to apologize for his behavior.
This will not be an open media event.   However, it is understood that there are many media who are interested in what he has to say.  In order to accommodate as best we can, we are working to arrange pool coverage of Tiger’s remarks.
There will be a network pool camera providing coverage of his talk. The feed will be available live to any network or station that wishes to air it.  A limited number of print and wire service reporters will be in attendance and will share their notes, color and background on a pooled basis. 

Holly shit this is gonna be awkward. For everyone. He should come out in a crown and a long leopard-spotted velvet cape, and on the screen it would say, “TIGER WOODS: KING OF BITCHES”. And then Tiger could say he was just joking, and people would be like, “hey, his joking around has really put me at ease.”