so is this fake or what

The idea of seeing Snooki naked has gripped the nation in fear, trapped us in its’ mighty talons, so when news of the threat struck, I put on my detective hat and hit the streets. From the dingiest Hollywood clubs to the fatcats on Wall Street, from the beaches in Miami to the halls of power in Washington DC, I would follow the facts. Would the story of my life … be the death of me?

I would not find out, and instead took a nap on the couch. But then someone emailed me and said they knew the girl in the naked picture and it wasn’t Snooki. And I said, “what?” And they said, “the ‘Naked Snooki’ picture. It’s not Snooki. It’s someone else.” And I said, “woah, slow down, you’re going a mile a minute.” So they sent a picture of Snooki with a red X over it and then a picture of a new girl with a green checkmark over it.

Several demonstrations later, including a stage play set to music, the pieces began to come together. The Naked Snooki picture sort of looks like Snooki, but only if you want it to. Much like how a piece of toast can look like Jesus.

I don’t see any reason to name the new girl or link to her facebook (where the pictures below are from), so we’ll call her Not Snooki.

Real Snooki is 18 inches tall and a fat tub of shit with brown eyes and who does some dumb ass smirk every time she tries to look sexy. It’s amazing she’s only been punched once.

Not Snooki is average height with a good body and blue eyes and a delightful smile.

Real Snooki has tiny arms like a T-Rex, while Not Snooki has long slender arms, much like the girl in the Naked Snooki picture.

Real Snooki denies any pictures like this exist, and the website that’s posting these has a new pic up today as proof, but it doesn’t show any Snooki anywhere close to naked.

Below are some side-by-side pictures, and it seems at least as likely that the Naked Picture shows Not Snooki as much as it does Real Snooki. To be clear, I have no idea. I’m 60-40 in believing the naked picture is Not Snooki, but that might only be because I’d rather see my family in a Muslim hostage video than some orange goblin trying to seduce me.