jennifer love hewitt decorates her kitty with crystals

Jennifer Love Hewitt has a new dating book out, and if you think she wouldn’t have any good tips for how to spice up your love life, you would be 100 percent correct.

One of her tips: glue shiny things on your vadge.
“After a breakup, a friend of mine Swarovski-crystalled my precious lady,” she said. “It shined like a disco ball so I have a whole chapter in there on how women should vagazzle their vajayjays.”

The promise of slamming your penis into a dozen rocks might be effective if you’re trying to seduce Ben Grimm, but believe it or not I’d rather not pound my dick into fragile cut glass with sharp edges. Seeing a girl with crystals glued to her vagina sounds horrifying. At best it would look like armor, at worst scales, and either way my dick isn’t getting anywhere near it. Because it’s either defending itself or it might spit poison at me.