reese witherspoon is single

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are individually boring, but put them together and they combine like Volton to form a unstoppable 10-story robot of boring. Thankfully, Hollywood is now safe. Marc Malkin of E! online writes…

Sources confirm that the two decided to end their relationship about two weeks ago.
One source insists it’s completely amicable. “There are no other people involved,” the source said. “The relationship just ended. It just fizzled.”

I feel like this Malkin guy tricked me, because after talking about what a fabulous cook Jake is, the article says…

Earlier this month, Gyllenhaal made headline news when he used the g-word. “Obviously I exist in my girlfriend’s world and my sister’s world in a different way, but it’s opened my heart and I feel much more grown up and want to be grown up as a result of it.”

Really not the first g-word that came to mind. Why won’t this dude just come out of the closet? It’s almost 2010. No one cares, and he’s no good at hiding it anyway. He spent 3 years dating Kirsten Dunst for Christs sake. You don’t have to be Freud to deduce that someone who puts their penis inside of that fug bitch wishes they didn’t have one.