jessica alba > lindsay lohan

Todays Lindsay Lohan story that someone clearly made up has to aim high because it’s been a while since she was in the news.  So to make up for lost time, the Mirror has one that claims she was making out with Jessica Albas husband.

This morning there were rumours circulating that Lindsay spent last night chewing the cock ear off John Mayer at a New York nightclub … apparently Lindsay’s got one of her legendary scary crushes on him.
…she’s also trying to ensnare Cash Warren. Yes, Jessica Alba’s husband. One US mag says they’ve been seen kissing.

It goes without saying that no one is going to go from Jessica Alba to Lindsay Lohan. Look at that fug bitch. At this point, “Kissing Lindsay Lohan” sounds like metaphor for something you don’t want to do. “Hey dude are you taking Statistical Mechanics this semester?” “Hell no. I’d rather spend three days a week kissing Lindsay Lohan.”  And then the first guy would think to himself, “Wow, he really must hate Statistical Mechanics.  I had no idea.”