cheating might cost tiger woods $300 million

Yesterday I randomly speculated that Tiger Woods might lose hundreds of millions of dollars if his wife files for divorce. I didn’t really base that on anything, because research takes forever so fuck that, but this time the things I made up were true, and I didn’t look up a damn thing. Suck on that Us weekly.

…the couple has a prenuptial agreement worth $300 million, which would make this the most expensive celebrity divorce in history.

But at least Rachel Uchitel, the girl at the heart of this story, is sticking by her claim that she never had an affair with Woods. Oh wait never mind.

Rachel Uchitel has publicly denied she had sexual relations with Tiger Woods, but we’ve learned she has said she did indeed have an affair with the golfer. And, we’re told it was her — not Jaimee Grubbs — who caused an argument between Tiger and his wife, Elin Nordegren, that immediately preceded Tiger’s SUV crash.
Sources say less than an hour before Tiger’s accident, Rachel and Tiger were texting each other. Elin confronted Tiger and asked whom he was texting. She grabbed the phone and we’re told she called Rachel to confront her. Tiger and Elin began arguing and the phone broke in the process.
We’re also told there was damage as a result of the altercation in the vestibule area of Tiger’s home — damage that cannot be easily repaired, and that is why Tiger would not let police come in.

Even if Tiger is guilty of everything he’s accused of and 10 times more, THREE HUNDRED MILLION GOD DAMN DOLLARS? Jesus Christ. Elin should be well compensated for what he’s done to her, but, seriously? 300? If someone is gonna take that much money from you I really don’t think killing them would be unreasonable. Every human life is important, but only up to a certain point. Let’s not get carried away.