tuesday morning headlines

JENNIFER LOVE CHEWIT – tortured boys everywhere by twittering just this one picture of her as a Playboy bunny for Halloween (full size UHQ here). Aren’t you surprised she didn’t post more? I know I was surprised. According to sources that are Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jennifer Love Hewitt has lost a ton of weight and now looks amazing, but here all we have is this one picture, a picture reminiscent of when fat girls on myspace try to pull the ol’ fat girl “switch-a-roo”. Why would she do that?  It’s quite a mystery. Someone should call the cops.  (twitter)

JOSS WHEDON – borrowed an old SNL joke (*) to announce his bid to buy the Terminator franchise, the rights to which will be auctioned off later this month. The company that currently holds the rights to all future Terminator projects – including movies, TV and games – has to sell them because they’re so in debt. You can still make real Terminators though and extract your revenge on girls who laughed at you in high school.  (NOTE – “Don’t I know it, heh-heh-heh!”)  (deadline hollywood)

KIEFER SUTHERLAND – ran up a $500 bar tab with the cast and crew of ’24’ during a break in shooting last week in San Pedro. Awesome now gets awesomer because they were there between 7am and 1pm. That’s right. They STARTED drinking at 7 in the morning. Kiefer paid for everyone, then left a $200 tip. After that they left so Kiefer could win every single category at the Coolest Guy Ever Awards. (tmz)

CHRISTINA RICCI – was in Miami over the weekend, and I forgot to post these yesterday when they were topical, but I already bought them so, hey look, it’s Christina Ricci in Miami! “She’s no Kimberly Phillips“, as the popular saying goes, but some of these are pretty hot. Her piercing blue eyes are an intoxicating ocean of intrigue, her rippling muscles glisten in the sun and her super short shorts reveal just a hint of her tight little sexy ass. Wait. Wait no sorry. I was seeing my reflection in the monitor. False alarm, everyone. (mavrix and splash and inf)

(*) Even though the right to do whatever you want with Terminators is expected to auction for around 50M, Joss offered to buy them today for 10 grand. In 1976, Lorne Michaels offered the Beatles 3 grand to reunite on SNL (video here). The joke works because you would imagine they would receive more than that. Get it? The number is too low. If you’re laughing too hard and think you may pass out, try to take some deep breaths and think about something sad.