holy shit!

I like Radar Online more than TMZ because Radar doesn’t blatantly steal content from me like TMZ does, so I’m glad they’re the one who got this exclusive audio of Lindsay in the middle of a complete break down.

This clip of her on the phone comes from her dad of course, who says he’s releasing this as proof of Lindsays fragile mental state. It’s somehow supposed to persuade her to go to rehab, although it’s not clear how piling more pressure on someone already on the edge helps in any way. If you were standing between a big mean bear and her cub, Michael Lohan would say, “okay now whack the bear cub with a stick. Okay now call it a fag. I think this will help.”

As the tape begins, someone says “Go to sleep bitch. Die motherfucker die.” But that’s because I left my iTunes on and the Em song ‘Go To Sleep’ was playing. Once I turned that off, Lindsay says,

“I’m not someone who is gonna go to someone else when they’re like, constantly (inaudible) the only person that they’re there for and that’s not what I have, and I want to so much.
(after this she cries uncontrollably for about 5 seconds)
“Just ‘cause they’re caring more than the other side. And so mommy says that I’m like you were, and then she’s like, defending, and so she says to me on the phone, she doesn’t back me, she doesn’t stand by me.”
(after this she again cries loudly)
Why?
Why?
I’m fine.
No one cares about me. They don’t by the way. No one cares about that much.
It’s never about that. It’s about how they feel, not how I feel.
No, it’s not about me. It’s never about me. Unless I fight for it.

To be honest I have no idea WTF she’s talking about. When someone is crying uncontrollably on the phone it’s hard to know what they’re trying to say. At least that’s what girls tell me after they turn me down for a second date and I beg them for another chance. Don’t do this! I can change! Please … I love you!