eva mendes knows how to promote a movie

Eva Mendes was in New York last night for a screening of ‘Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans’, and if someone wanted to make the case that she’s the best looking person on earth, I would find it hard to argue. What helped is that she didn’t wear a bra and her shirt was held in place with little more than optimism.

Predictably, that did not work, so the pictures you really want are about halfway through the gallery. Sometimes I feel pictures like this are the only reason you come here. What happened to the quiet mornings when we would just sit on the back deck and read the paper together. Answer me. ANSWER ME! *brendon runs away crying, slams the bedroom door*

(this post took forever because I started yelling at my monitor for hollywood to kiss my ass. don’t hit the “read more”. you’re not gonna care.)

On a side note that no one but me will care about, I sure do hope this movie is filled with condescending accents. Because I grew up 20 minutes from New Orleans, and I find it real flattering when Hollywood makes movies about people in the south, and then they have every single person – gang members, students, white, black, professors, judges, doctors – all talk in the same cadence as Forrest Gumps black friend. It’s so accurate, it’s like I’m staring into a mirror! It’s just like how every single person in LA talks like Bill and Ted, and every single person in New York talks like Joe Pesci.

Ellen DeGenneres is from New Orleans. Reese Witherspoon is from Baton Rouge. Jared Leto, Ian Somerholder and Ashley Scott are all from Louisiana too. James Earl Jones is from Mississippi. David Cross is from Georgia. George Clooney and Nicole Scherzinger are from Kentucky. Megan Fox is from Tennessee. You may notice NO ONE here actually from the south sounds like EVERY ONE from the south according to Hollywood. I’m gonna write a TV show about an all black law firm in Beverly Hills, where all the lawyers went to Yale and Stanford, but then for some reason every single one of them talk like Katt Williams and Eddie Griffin. “DA BITCH IS CRAAAZZY, DAS WHY! AND SHE DONE DID IT! SHE TOOK DIS GUN, AND SHE SHOT DAT MOTHAFUKKA!” And when the highly educated layer in the 5000 dollar suit says “shot dat mother fukka” he’ll stamp his foot on each new word to emphasize it. A show like that should be fine right? From what I can tell labeling huge groups of people based on a small minority is perfectly fine.

(image source = flynet online)