morning headlines

KIM KARDASHIAN – will get paid 50 grand to have a birthday party (she turns 29 on Wednesday) at Tao inside the Venetian in Las Vegas. I sometimes stand outside of Tao and loudly complain on my cell phone about all the girls I’ve been having sex with.  The “dude” I’m talking to gets it, because we’re friends, and we make jokes about it. He and the rest of “my boys” will be here shortly, so I’ll just hang out here until then. (ny post)

LINDSAY LOHAN – is due in court this morning at 9am to explain to the judge why she stopped going to her court ordered alcohol education classes. “Well I was pretty drunk, why are they so early?” seems a likely explanation. (tmz)

JON GOSSELIN – was sued this morning by TLC for stopping ‘Jon and Kate Plus 8’. They say his claims about protecting the kids are BS and all he cares about is money. There must be 2 “Jon Gosselins” because the one I know has nothing but integrity. (radar)

SELETA EBANKS – if a saw a guy go down on Seleta Ebanks, I’m not saying I would make out with immediately after if that was the closest I could get to doing the same, but I’m also not not saying that. (hq jump = here. source = mavrix online)