jennifer aniston might adopt

Every few months someone takes the “Jennifer Aniston is adopting” story from a few months earlier, changes all the nouns and then prints it again, so if this turns out to be true it would be astounding, but the UK magazine Now says she made a secret trip to an orphanage in Mexico earlier this month.

They say her barren womb is covered in dust and spiderwebs like a hallway that Indiana Jones would be going down, and it can’t sustain life like Angelina Jolies has several times with relative ease. Now at the age of 40, Aniston has correctly deduced that adoption is the only way she’ll ever have a child. This is her big chance to get a man who won’t leave her too, so she should probably choose a boy.

The “source” says Aniston will buy the baby from the Casa Hogar Sion orphanage. Oh it sounds just lovely.

“Jen has been plowing money into the orphanage for years, just as her ex Brad has, and to adopt a baby from there makes perfect sense,” adds the insider. “She and Brad will never be — she knows that — but this bond through the baby will live on, no matter what. Brad and Angelina Jolie can never escape from that.”
The orphanage’s owner, Carmen Gonzalez, confirmed Jen’s visit, saying, “She got on with all the children, but spent most of her time with the babies. She loved them. She was in the nursery for a long time, playing with them and cuddling them.”

This poor kid. She just wants someone who can’t leave when she starts to complain about how unfair her life is. He’s gonna grow up with his depressed mom laying around crying all the time.  His life is gonna be like a Shania Twain song.