monday morning headlines

SHAUNA SAND – Put down your coffee and brace yourself, because here comes shocking news: Shauna Sand has decided to stop fighting the release of her sex tape, claiming a lawsuit could be “long and expensive”. Yeah, I got some something long and expensive for you right here baby! Wait. Wait that didn’t make any sense. (tmz)

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY – won the weekend box office with a solid 22M. In its 5th week out, it beat the debut of the much higher profile ‘Saw 6’ by 7.2M. ‘Paranormal’ has now made $62,477,000. Which is $62,462,000 more than it cost to make. It’s the best return on an investment since I got those leather pants. Settle down ladies, there’s plenty of Brendon to go around. (mojo)

ZOMBIE BILLY MAYS – is sure to be this years “not as clever as you thought” Halloween costume, and his son is actually encouraging it by holding a contest for people dressed like his dad, dead or alive. I couldn’t decide what costume to buy, but I tried on one as a member of the Jokers gang in ‘the Dark Knight’. I put on the mask and the fake gun, then went next door to the bank to ask the teller if she liked it. She was a real bitch. All she did was yell at me and call the cops! (people)

AUDRINA PATRIDGE – I don’t know why I’m so attracted to Audrina Patridge, and I don’t know what’s going on in these pictures, but I do know what big tits and half-shirts are. Those are the things giving me an near painful erection right now. (12 more starting here. source = fame)