afternoon headlines

SCARLETT JOHANSSON – will star with Liev Schreiber in the Broadway revival of the Arthur Miller play ‘A View From the Bridge’. It’s about a Brooklyn longshoreman who is obsessed with his niece. It opens on Dec. 28, then closes on Dec. 28-and-a-half, more than likely. (wonderwall)

DAVID SPADE – is being criticized for his DirecTV ad featuring Chris Farley, who died in 1997. In response, Spade says, “(his family and I) thought it would be a cool way to remind people just how funny Chris was.” Still they should take it down. Either that or the 3 people who complained should go back to Fraggle Rock or wherever it is whiny queers like this live.  (pop eater)

MEL B – is the new spokesperson for Vitamin Water, so they had to be thrilled when she showed up yesterday in London to promote it wearing a blond wig. Having a famous celebrity spokesperson is nice, but it’s even better if no one can recognize them. Otherwise it gets distracting. (getty and fame)