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June 9, 2009 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments
Jessica Simpson did nothing but walk around NYC last night, but she did it with her long golden locks dropping down on a slimming black dress and a push up bra, and at one point it kinda looked like she was feeling her own awesomely huge breast, so for today it’s the worlds most important story. Now I’m gonna wash down a bottle of roofies with a quart of vodka and then get a horse to kick me in the head in hopes I can forget all about her fat phase from last month. It’s extreme, but so was the amount of pressure on the seams of her Daisy Dukes.