200 million to split up

Seemingly every Michael Jackson story for the past five years has mentioned that he’s broke as hell, but the Wall Street Journal says today there will still be hundreds of millions to divide, even after his debt is cleared. So everyone in Michael’s final will please step forward. Not so fast Joe Jackson.

“A will drafted by Michael Jackson in 2002 divides the singer’s estate among his mother, three children and one or more charities… Several people close to the late Mr. Jackson said that a lawyer for the pop singer could submit the will, believed to be his last, to Los Angeles Superior Court as soon as Thursday… Mr. Jackson’s parents said in a Monday court filing that they believed the singer had died without a valid will. Joseph Jackson isn’t believed to be included in the most recent will.”

And the money shot…

“Unwinding Mr. Jackson’s estate is likely to be a thorny challenge, given the size and complexity of both the assets and the debts involved. In all, Mr. Jackson died with around $500 million debt, but the value of his assets probably outweigh that, possibly by $200 million or more, according to people familiar with the matter.”

Hahaha, you suck Joe. You beat the shit out of those kids and now you get nothin. You haven’t even shed a tear since he died. You did but that shit was fake. I know a thing or two about fake crying. Like when that bully said he was gonna beat me up so I rolled into a ball in the dirt and cried and screamed “oh god no please don’t hurt me”, then I gave him my wallet and my shoes and my watch. Then I moved to a different town and changed my name. Well guess what, that watch didn’t even work. What a jackass that guy was!