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April 1, 2009 | Photos | editor | 0 Comments
A plan is in place for Lindsay Lohan to release two hardcore sex tapes. She has refused this offer several times already, but competing groups are now driving the price to insane heights. The producer loaning her the Maserati is not the only one in porn trying to get her to do this.
Very obviously, Lindsay Lohan isn’t gonna get gangbanged in a rented out bowling alley (that’s not a euphemism for her vagina by the way), but she can choose some guy she likes, fly to a resort and get it on her knees while he films it. The plan I heard says the tape will be released in two parts, a total of six hardcore scenes, claiming it was made during her trip to Mexico with Sam last September (here). The guy will remain anonymous.
Lindsay has no money. She has no job offers or decent endorsement deals. She has not agreed to do anything yet, in fact she has refused several times, but she is being offered millions, upfront, locked away for now but paid later while calling it a lawsuit settlement. I asked the odds that she would actually do this, I was told 1 in 4.
So there you go. At first this seems insane, but then two seconds later it seems about right. If she got real slutty, the movie would make hundreds of billions of dollars. Even the novel based on the movie would hit number 1. Personally, the minute I heard the dvd was done, I would wrap my penis in packing material just to make sure it stays safe until the big day.