morning headlines

ANNA NICOLE SMITH – if the actions of Howard K. Stern directly led to her death, he could be charged with secondary murder or involuntary manslaughter, which is less serious, even though it sounds way worse.  “Slaughter”.  It's like he hacked her to pieces with a machete.  (source = e!)

NBC – averaged just 6 million prime time viewers last week, and even lost the 18-34 demo to a Spanish cable channel.  Oh I know.  I'm shocked.  Winning “Worlds Greatest Grandpa” according to your tshirt is more impressive than being the lead in “Chuck”. (source = defamer)  

PENELOPE CRUZ – I thought this was old, but the Sun has a headline about Penelope Cruz topless in some movie.  I didn’t read the article because I got this intriguing email: “Your rod will be faultless weapon. Women will be your resigned slaves.”   And they link to the pills that will turn my cock into a baseball bat of seduction.  I was skeptical at first, but the site has a picture of a woman with a clipboard.  Her endorsement really put me at ease.  (unedited pic here, source = sun UK)