morning headlines

KIM KARDASHIAN –  “Everyone was laughing at her.”   Because she can’t pronounce “philanthropy”.  As you might guess, that came up when she emceed the Rush Philanthropic benefit.  There's no video, so just picture a whore playing Password.  “Phil-a … fila-hoppy … feel … the … throbbing?  Feel The Throbbing?!?!” (source = gatecrasher)

MADONNA – she wants to adopt another child from Malawi, but there’s a problem.  She’s a slut.  “That she is linked to another woman's husband and a young man less than half her age makes us question her morals.”  Hahaha.  Malawi still sells slaves (here) and pulls out a girl’s clitoris with their fingernails (here), and even they think Madonna sucks.  That's like getting kicked out of the Klan because they've had it with your language.  (source = daily news)

JESSICA LOWNDES – “90210” had its season one wrap party over the weekend, and Jessica bent over and pushed her tits together with her arms, upgrading her status with me from “who?” to “enchantress!”  (source = splash)