matthew nolan killed a guy

Most people know that Christopher Nolan directed and co-wrote “The Dark Knight”, “Batman Begins” and “the Prestige”, and that his brother Jonathon co-wrote Knight, Prestige and “Terminator: Salvation”, but the eldest Nolan brother is a wanted man as well.  In Costa Rica.  Because two years ago he and an accomplice kidnapped and tortured a man then executed him when his family wouldn’t pay the ransom.  E! says…

Matthew Nolan has been arrested by the FBI in Chicago and is awaiting extradition to Costa Rica to face murder and kidnapping charges.According to the FBI, Nolan concocted a Joker-worthy plot to lure the victim, Robert Cohen, to a hotel by pretending to be a multimillionaire jewel merchant hoping to do a business deal. Instead, Nolan intended to recoup $7 million Cohen owed another Florida man. Nolan and an accomplice allegedly held Cohen ransom in hopes of extracting the money, but when the family failed to meet their demands, they killed him.

I’m a little disappointed that E! only managed to cram two cutesy Batman references into the story about someones torture and execution.  The Hollywood Reporter would have been able to get at least ten into that same story.  Like this but way better:

Matthew Nolan is facing some “dark nights” of his own after being arrested by the FBI in the real life Gotham for kidnapping, extortion and aggravated homicide.  Why so serious?  Well because in 2006 Nolan lured a man named Robert Cohen to a hotel in Costa Rica by pretending to be a wealthy businessman interested in real estate (hmm, not looking for caves, are you Mr. Nolan!).  Cohen thought they were partners, but Nolan just ended up “Robin” him!  Then he and an accomplice kidnapped Cohen, starved, beat and tortured him for 4 days while awaiting a 7 million dollar ransom.  Hey, we thought Harvey Dent was the biggest Two-Face in town!  Cohens family must have been “batty”, because they refused to pay the ransom.  So Nolans accomplice tortured him for 11 hours before killing him and throwing his corpse in a river.  11 hours?  Ouch!  Sounds like Mr. Cohen put up quite a BAT-tle!The FBI says Cohens body was found under a bridge in Costa Rica.  An autopsy revealed that the victim had been tortured and then crushed with a concrete slab.  Yikes!  What a bat-astrophe!  I bet that’s not what you had in mind when you teamed up with Hollywood royalty Mr. Cohen!

The Reporter and Post and ET could still get more in there.  They’ll definitely have something about “no joker” or “jokers up”, something like that.  Or the “real riddle is why he…” something.  I don’t quite have it, but you can bet their's will be terrific.