minka kelly is slumming

I keep hearing that Hollywood is a vapid superficial whorehouse where only beautiful people can succeed, and God I wish that were true because I’m sick to death of the real Hollywood where Maggie The Sad Cartoon Turtle Gyllenhaal is starring in Batman yet supperhottie Minka Kelly is working a JC Penny event.  WTF is that?  I've never even heard of anyone who would touch Maggie Gyllenhaal unless they were stranded on a desert island or something, but every guy on earth would hump Minka Kelly on the way to their parents funeral if the chance presented itself.  At the funeral.  During the funeral.  They would use the coffin to prop up Minkas ass for a better angle if they thought it would help, and wouldn’t stop until they felt the first shovel of dirt.  And yet who's the successful one?  God this town sucks.

(picture source = getty images)