chris brown is so screwed

There is now little doubt that the previously unidentified woman that Chris Brown was arrested for assaulting early Sunday morning was his girlfriend Rihanna.  The LA Times, TMZ and a host of others have all independently confirmed it, and the New York Daily News cites a source who saw her treated for her injuries at a LA hospital.  

Bad gets worse for Brown with the revelation that he didn’t just hit Rihanna, but assaulted her with a deadly weapon, although it's not clear what the weapon was.

Worse gets worser for Brown with the news that he will be charged with making criminal threats, as opposed to simple domestic abuse.  Why is that?  TMZ says…

Law enforcement sources tell us they typically book a suspect for the most serious crime they can be charged with — it's then up to the D.A. to file any additional charges.  Given there were allegedly visible injuries, the crime of making criminal threats is punishable by up to nine years in prison. Domestic abuse is four years.

Holy shit.  There’s bad, and then there’s bad, and then there’s this. An example of "bad" is if you were 18 and had two undescended testicles.  "Worse" would be having to go to the doctor because of it.  This would be like going to the doctor because you’re 18 with two undescended testicles, and the nurse who examines you is super hot.  And 21.  And went to your school.  And her sister’s name is Jill, she’s a senior too, do you two know each other?

UPDATE – or not.  now TMZ says there was no weapon involved.