tom cruise is getting a makeover

Believe it or not there was a time when everyone loved Tom Cruise and his goofy religion was no secret but he and his team keep his doofusness in check.  Then in 2005 he fired Pat Kingsly, his publicist since 1995, and replaced her with his scientologist sister.  Not a good idea, as it turns out.  Now he has a new PR team, and it would seem they’re starting with the basics.  Star says…

– no lecturing any talk show hosts (think: Matt Lauer!) about Scientology – be more connected to the audience, stop wearing sunglasses on the red carpet- no showing up at premieres in fancy cars. "They don't want him to seem arrogant during the recession!" – the No. 1 priority? Winning back Tom's female fans … appear on women-friendly programs like The View. "It's all very calculated," the insider says … and when in public with Katie Holmes, "Tom needs to quit grabbing her arm and pulling her around. The idea is to make him the kinder, gentler Tom, not a controlling husband with a Stepford wife."

Um, isn’t all that just a longer way to say, don’t lecture people about religion, don’t flaunt your wealth and fame, and don’t manhandle your wife in public.  I don’t mean to brag, but I think most people kind of know that all by themselves.  If he’s this dumb how does he even drive a car?  How far back does this go?  Does he understand colors?  How does he tell the difference between the ignition and the dog?  Or does he just shove the key into both and see which one bites him?