OH STFU LIFE AND STYLE

In an effort to build an insurmountable lead in the race to publish the most made up, zero-chance-of-it-being-true story of 2009, Life and Style is hinting on their website today that George Clooney is banging Paris Hilton.

When Paris Hilton sat beside George Clooney at Hollywood hot spot Dan Tana's on Dec. 20, it just looked like a bizarre business meeting. After all, the duo were joined for dinner by a group that included director Ridley Scott, (Tyler Perry) and Brittany Flickinger, the winner of Paris' BFF reality show. "It was an odd group for a dinner party," notes an onlooker.But it wasn't the first time the heartthrob and the heiress had been out together. Life & Style has learned exclusively that the night before, George, 47, and Paris, 27, had a far more intimate meeting at the Whiskey Bar at the Sunset Marquis hotel in West Hollywood.

The only people that hang out with her at all are Hollywood stragglers and attention whores who want their picture taken, so very obviously George Clooney is not having sex with Paris Hilton and her poison vagina.  Because why on earth would he?  Is there even any point?  She's dumb, annoying, ugly, and sticking your penis in her would be like humping an ashtray, just old and loose and I can't explain why but I bet it's all powdery. And filled with disease.  My penis flat out refused to go in there, it said no way, and my penis is the bravest one I know.  It even spent the night in a haunted mansion one time.

(picture source = splash news)