more adorable baby news

I don’t know if Jenifer Garner and Ben Affleck are stubborn or high or sarcastic or what, but they gave birth to that goblin above last year and yet still decided to have another one this year.  It's not very nice to call her ugly, but let's be reasonable: she started it by being so ugly.  Plus, she's not even 2.  Fuck her.  It's not like she and her friends are reading this.  She should be glad just to be alive.  That mongoloid would have been throw in a well 1000 years ago, and rightfully so, but I digress.  It's time to learn the name of the new kid.  Aren’t you excited, I know I am!  People magazine says…

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck to the adorable celebuspawn roster.  No explanation of the name has been offered, but the Baby Name Wizard defines it as "derived from the Hebrew seraphim (burning ones), a name used in the Bible for the heavenly winged angels surrounding the throne of God."

These dumb names aren’t as bad when they’re given to girls.  They still sound like idiots, but if I went to grade school with a boy with one of these dumb Hollywood names, I would very definitely call him queer and then hold him down and put dead birds on his face.  It's part of my tough love program.