JENNIFAA YOPEZ IS GETTING A DIVORCE

The Daily News says today that, even though they renewed their wedding vows just three months ago, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony will reportedly file for divorce just after Valentines Day.  Gatecrasher says…

 “Marc and Jennifer are planning on announcing their divorce right after Marc’s show at Madison Square Garden on Feb. 14,” a friend of the couple tells us. “Jennifer is planning on joining Marc onstage for a surprise duet. Things haven’t been right for a while now, and they thought it would be a bittersweet farewell.”“They’re definitely planning a clean break in February,” the source insists.

What kind of a cold-blooded bitch actually announces that she’s going to break up with you after Christmas, New Years and Valentines Day?  Lots of girls plan that shit because girls are black-hearted monsters and even though they don’t like you anymore they need a companion for the holidays and they want free stuff, but they at least have the common decency to not tell you about it.  The only upside to this is that big Hollywood stars always take lavish vacations after breakups and Mexico is the hotspot right now, so maybe she goes down there and then we can refuse to let her back in.  "This ID looks fake to me, what do you think, Rob?"  "Yeah that shit's fake.  Come with me ma'am."