UM, THERES A DEAD WOMAN OUTSIDE

Paula Abdul is not what anyone would describe as "hearty".  She's an unsteady mess who will break down and question God's love even on the best of occasions, so I'm going to suggest this will do anything but help.  TMZ says..

A body was found in a car a few houses down from Paul Abdul's home, and there are reports the victim was a "big fan" of the "Idol" judge.  The body was discovered last night in a car. Cops tell us it may have been a drug overdose/suicide.

And the update…

The woman whose body was found outside Paula Abdul's home last night may have been stalking the "A.I." judge.  Police sources tell us they think the victim is an alleged Abdul stalker and cops have been to the house "numerous times before" to deal with her.  Paula's people tell us they know who the woman is.  The victim was found dead in a car, yards from Paula's L.A. home. Cause of death may have been a drug overdose.

You have to keep in mind that catching a red light will send Paula Abdul into a downward spiral of madness, so dead bodies and stalkers and police are more than enough to push her over the edge. Just hearing that there are police, that they exist in the world, will send her under the bed in an ocean of tears, so fully expect to hear that Paula has snapped and gone nuts by 11, noon at the very very latest.