GO KILL YOURSELF TRAVIS BARKER

Following his August 20th plane crash that killed four others and left Travis Barker and DJ AM with third degree burns, Barker is suing Bombardier Inc (the planes manufacturer), Clay Lacy Aviation and Global Exec Aviation (the charter companies), and Goodyear Tire and Rubber (who made the tires), to seek compensation for his "pain and suffering, mental anguish, psychological and emotional distress and disfigurement and pre-impact fear of death and burning".  E! says…

"I wouldn't have been in the state I was in if I wasn't in the crash," Barker — who blames the pilots and defective equipment — tells E! News. "You know, I wouldn't have third degree burns all over my body or be prohibited to do certain things. I can't go swimming, I can't do some of the things that normal people can do. I didn't ask for that to happen."  Asked whether he thinks he will win the suit, he says, "I don't know, I just think positive. I mean, I think so.  If something goes wrong that's not supposed to go wrong or you fall victim of it," he adds, "I think you should be compensated."

Travis is right.  I wouldn’t sue in this case because I was aware that planes sometimes crash (I read about it in "No Fucking Shit Digest") and that’s a risk you take when flying, but Travis can't go swimming for a few months, and so obviously the Goodyear tire company needs to pay up.  Not just because they're the only ones involved with any real money, but because they didn’t invent enchanted tires filled with GummiBeary juice so the plane could just bounce around instead of crashing.  You won't get away with this Goodyear!!!