THE DIVORCE IS GOING GREAT

The Sun UK reports today that Madonna is telling friends that her 8 year marriage to Guy Ritchie was little more than a sham, and all he cares about now is getting as much as he can from her half-a-billion dollar fortune.  He has told reporters he doesn’t want a dime of her money, but she claims that is far from the truth.

Queen of Pop Madonna, who famously follows the mystical Jewish religion Kabbalah, told a friend: “I’m totally devastated that Guy’s turned out to be such a gold-digger.“I thought we’d been on a spiritual journey together for the past ten years — but obviously I was wrong. He’s just after my money.“I’ve worked my ass off for the last 30 years to get what I have, and now this gold-digger wants to take it from me.“Kabbalah philosophy teaches that you don’t take what you haven’t earned. Well that’s exactly what Guy is doing. He hasn’t earned a penny of it, yet wants to take, take, take.“He keeps upping his demands — he just wants more, and more, and more from me. It’s unbelievable.”

This sounds really bad but I don’t like Madonna so fuck her.  I hope she looses every dime, I hope she falls off another horse and I hope that stupid African kid steals her soul and traps it in some kind of magical rock.