SHOULD BE DEAD BY MONDAY

The London tabloids are going all apeshit today saying Amy Winehouse looks to be on the verge of death.  Though her publicist claims Amy is sober these days, Splash has pictures showing an unidentified white powder tucked into her bra.  

Skeletally-thin with a fag-end hanging out of her gob, bruises up her arms and a grey, ravaged complexion, Amy Winehouse looked worse than ever as she staggered about in Camden in the early hours of the morning today.Though her spokespeople have recently been claiming she's currently clean and sober, the troubled singer looked distinctly unhealthy as she staggered to her local pub The Monarch to play a DJ set.She was then booed by drinkers in the night spot as she repeatedly stopped playing records to make trips to the toilet.  

I’m pretty sure she can be declared dead just as she is.  This is close enough.  Living people don't look like this.  She looks like a sketch you’d see in the necronomicon.