JLO IS A NARCISSISTIC BITCH

Despite winning eight gold medals in the Olympics last week, Michael Phelps is not as big a story as Jennifer Lopez doing an interview to say she will enter a triathlon one day.  This, of course, according to Jennifer Lopez.  MSNBC says…

Poor Jennifer Lopez. The new mom is training for a triathlon, but everyone is too busy watching the Olympics to notice.Lopez, who appeared on "Good Morning America" Aug. 18 to discuss her preparations for the Malibu Triathlon, was overheard saying after the segment that she “couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer,” according to a GMA source. “She couldn’t come up with (eight-time gold-medal winner Michael) Phelps’ name, and then she yammered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.’”

JLo is right.  People win 8 gold medals all the time.  That shit is played out.  What people don’t do is announce they plan on entering a mini-triathlon (Malibu is a half-mile ocean swim, an 18-mile bike course, and a 4-mile run.  Real triathlons are a 2.4-mile ocean swim, a 112-mile bike ride, and a 26.2-mile run).  What she is planning on maybe doing is an unparalleled human achievement.  I think we’ll all remember where we were the day JLo waddled those last two miles, gasping for air with her hands on her hips, under a full moon because the race ended hours ago, as she tried to keep up to the kid with spina bifida.  You Can Do It JLo!!!