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July 9, 2008 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments
I wish there was a way for this to look like one of those spinning newspaper headlines in old movies when the headline yells, "WHO WILL SAVE US?" Megan Fox walking across the parking lot is big news. Because she's hot. And by "hot", I mean, "hotter than every other girl combined, ever". I could jack off while a bear was chasing me just by thinking about Megan Fox. Needless to say I'm pretty excited about her being single. As a sexy internet celebrity, I feel like I have a real chance. We have so much in common. She drinks Fiji, I drink Fiji. She walks on two legs, I walk on two legs. She has a vagina, and I have a long list of things I could place inside of it. We're practically soul mates.