BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN IS A LIAR

Despite reports last week, reports that told the truth, Brian Austin Green says he has not been dumped by fiancé Megan Fox, and according to him, the relationship is going great.  It’s not clear why he would lie like this.  Probably because he’s a god damn liar.  Us magazine says…

"We're solid," Green, 34, says in the new issue of TV Guide. "We've lived together for three years. We have tattoos of each other's names.”Green's only gripe about their relationship?"We have more time away from each other right now than we'd like," he says.Green – who has a son, Kassius, with ex fiancée Vanessa Marcil – says he "would love" to have more kids.For now, he and Fox – who met in 2004 and got engaged in 2006 – are "rescuing pets from pet stores. We have a potbellied pig, we have dogs, two cats, two birds a squirrel."And Megan wants a leopard – that'll never happen!" Green adds. "That's a whole different world."

I want Megan to know that I’m getting pretty sick of Brian and his radical anti-leopard politics.  When she and I date she can get a T-Rex for all I care.  But it's no wonder he’s still clinging to her.  Remember this time last year when she gave him a blowjob him in the car, in a public parking lot, in the middle of the day?  Things like that are what make her one of the greatest women who have ever lived, and it’s why I have a 4 foot plastic figurine of her on my lawn at Christmas.