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July 4, 2008 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments
If you’re reading this somewhere other than the United States today, you should know that today is our birthday. The US has been awesome for 232 years now, and so today all of us bad ass motherfuckin Americans will celebrate by putting our hot chicks in bikinis and shooting fireworks at each other. The point being, things will probably be kind of slow today, so my condolences if you’re bored. Also, my condolences if you're not American. I read in the bible that if god didn’t make you American, it’s because he hates you, so you’re kind of screwed.