ANNE HATHAWAY HAS GOOD TIMING

Anne Hathaway dumped her pretend boyfriend Raffaello Follieri last week, but not because she’s gay as rumored, but because he’d been arrested twice and his constant legal troubles were smearing her good name.  Oh hey guess what happened today?

Manhattan prosecutors say an Italian businessman who has been romantically linked to movie star Anne Hathaway has been arrested on wire fraud conspiracy and money laundering charges.Raffaello Follieri is due in Manhattan federal court on Tuesday.He is accused of falsely telling an investor that he had been appointed as the chief financial officer of the Vatican.Authorities say he claimed that, as a result of that connection, he and others could obtain properties of the Catholic church in the United States at a substantial discount to fair market value.

Well no shit this dude is a fraud. "Raffaello Follieri"?  There’s no way that’s a real name.  It’s too Italian.  It’s the name you would give someone in a skit if you were making fun of Italians, right beside a black guy named Bochevious Midnight and a gay named Dick Sucker.  This mother fucker is from Iowa City I bet, and he learned Italian sounding English from watching old spaghetti sauce commercials.  But actors are idiots and Anne is an actor so there you go.  She came over and he wore a speedo with some gold chains and threw pizza dough in the air, and said, “why you no eata you pasta?  You beautiful girl but you skin and bones, YOU BREAKA MY MAMAS HEART!”  After that she was hooked.

(more pictures from the banner of their lost love here)