OH BOO-HOO

Jennifer Aniston might actually be crazy, like literally nuts, because she is STILL whining to whoever will listen that Angelina Jolie stole Brad Pitt and ruined her life.  That was three years ago.  God almighty, get a grip you whiny bitch.  OK says:

“It's been three years since they split," a friend says. "But she's still so far from getting over him, it's tragic.” And on Feb. 23, when Jen, Brad and Angelina Jolie, will all take part in hosting a charity event at the Beverly Hills Hotel, the tension in the room will most certainly be palpable. Aniston is gearing up for the moment she'll have to say hello to Angelina or, as she chooses to put it, "that person who ruined my life." Making the matter more stressful for Jen, who turned 39 on Feb. 11, is that she's being constantly bombarded with images of a glowing, pregnant Angelina. “Jen is desperate for kids,” says a source. “She can feel her biological clock ticking and must be scared that she’s left it too late. She keeps saying that she wishes she had kids with Brad and that, if she had, maybe things would be different.”

Whatever.  I saw this study one time that showed it would take 14 of Jennifer Aniston's chins laid back to back to reach the moon.  14.  You might think it would be more, but I checked the numbers twice, and by golly it's 14.  I also hear her chin, because it precedes the rest of her by about a minute, waps guys in the balls during oral.  And that's why she can't keep a boyfriend.  I haven't been able to confrim this, but the pieces do all fit.