JENNIFAA YOPEZ IS MISTAKEN

TMZ says that the Long Island hospital where Jennifer Lopez is planning to give birth soon has been preparing for the celebrity by practicing "pink drills", the explanation of which is not nearly as sexy as I hoped.

Sources at North Shore Medical Center tell TMZ the hospital conducted a "Code Pink" drill last Friday — "Code Pink" is code for locking down the hospital to prevent a kidnapping attempt.A rep for North Shore confirmed that the pink drill did indeed go down, but said that the timing is just a coincidence, but that's not what our sources are saying.

Don't flatter yourself Lopez.  Nobody wants your stupid baby.  It's gonna be half you, half Marc Anthony, all ugly.  Or maybe I'm just in a bad mood because Code Pink has to do with stolen babies, and is not a military-themed lesbian porn like I imagined. Preferably one where there's a sexy Asian spy, and someone makes a joke about, "eating Chinese tonight. Heh-heh-heh."