BRITNEY IS “GRAVELY DISABLED”

TMZ says today that UCLA Medical Center has classified Britney Spears as Greatly Disabled, which is apparently as bad as it gets in a psyche ward.  From what I gather, most of the people who get this classification are covered in urine and shouting at demons.  TMZ says:

Several health care professionals tell us Britney has fallen into a "manic state" due to her bipolar disorder. We're also told she arrived at the hospital this morning at around 2:15 AM, but wasn't admitted until 4:15 AM because she was causing such a scene in the hospital. Sources at UCLA Medical Center tell TMZ Britney Spears has been classified as "G.D." — Gravely Disabled. That is a huge and dangerous deal. That means the patient is unable to take care of basic needs, such as the acquisition of food, clothing or shelter.

Jesus Christ, whatever.  For the first time, I'm on Britney’s side.  That tubby bitch can acquire food, I assure you.  She's like a polar bear.  You could put a cake under 2 feet of ice and Britney would stick her nose to the ground and find it.  When asked for a comment, Britney said, "food goes in my tummy".  I'm not technically a doctor, bet she's right on that one.